Girls, be your own savior. We men are cowards!
I always used to write with an intent to express the positivity within, to give others a good, meaningful read. Never had I imagined that someday I would be writing to express my frustration, displeasure, and derision. Yes, my mind is in a lamentable state and is far from getting sane.
Each time a blatant attack against a girl occurs on a street (needless to mention a specific city here, the entire country is enmeshed in this dirty vicious circle). I pacify myself thinking that people are getting privy to women rights and equality, and things will change. But somehow, it ceases to happen. Finally, I realized that a clenched fist is better than folding hands in despair (goes out to all the women in this country).
Therefore, on behalf of all men, I wish to confess that we can’t and we won’t protect you ever. In front of our naked, shame deprived eyes, you continue to get raped, assaulted, beaten, murdered, and we see iron rods getting inserted right inside you, yet we are not moved. Post your devastation, we will condemn the culprits, the system, participate in a candle march, lend you a shoulder to cry upon, abuse the society rules, and wait for another catastrophe to happen, but we will not save you. We will not. Being a part of a 60,000-member crowd, we let barely a 1000 bastards to create a ruckus, molest you, grope you, tear your clothes, and what not. It all speaks volumes about our cowardice, isn’t it? In an isolated street, when you are a few steps away from your home and you are suddenly groped, we are comfortable watching you get ripped apart from a comfortable distance. We may even film the mishap but we are sorry, we won’t ever come forward to your rescue. We just won’t.
You deserve those lecherous gazes, that filthy touch, the misogyny, irrespective of what you wear. Not because you are vulnerable, but because we as friends, brothers, husbands, fathers, boyfriends have dashed your hopes of thriving in a safe environment. So, in the best interests of women safety, we wish to apologize and would request you to take your safety into your own hands, since we are good for nothing, useless cowards.
Dear reader, I am glad you have read my article so far. But if you are thinking this is another testimony condemning the Bangalore incident, I beg you to think again. I intend to write a gut-wrenching portrait of the shit our women face regularly and how we have let them down time and again.
Are you proud to be an Indian? If yes, what are you proud of?
Is it the national anthem just before a movie for which you stand; not out of respect but out of peer pressure. Or is it the rich history of India? Of the zillion things you can think of right now, even if we put them all together, there is still a huge reason which should put all of us to shame – Women Safety.
We boast of our traditions and mythology, wherein we worship more goddesses than we worship gods. Yet we fail to extend the most basic courtesy and respect for the real version of those deities on earth.
Apparently, there’s a problem etched within our mindset, within our society. It is perennial, in fact, I won’t refrain from associating it with something as deadly as “cancer”. This sick mindset has gripped the nation in the form of a deadly disease and unfortunately, no chemotherapy (chemotherapy) or medication can eradicate it. The reason lies in our roots, we men feel that the girls are at our disposal. We are conditioned to think that we can comment on their body, their character, the attire they should carry, the way they should talk, the way they should conduct themselves, etc. When we see them in a tight top or shorts which expose some part of their body, we get easily aroused. But somehow, when they see us in shorts, they don’t rush to grab us by our balls. Ironic, isn’t it?
We have failed to consider women as normal human beings, like us. The reason??
Let’s rewind and revisit our past.
At home, we have seen our parents asking the girls to dress appropriately, come back home on time, and not to mingle with boys and so on. The boys are never taught to keep their hormonal rush in control, no restrictions for them ever.
Result – Boys begin to disrespect girls and feel they have an upper hand since they are never questioned.
At school, girls need to dress up as per the guidelines, their skirts need to be above the knees. For boys, their trousers can be short, baggy, long, torn, damn who cares.
Result – Boys feel that/ girls are born to live under restrictions whereas they are free birds.
Teachers announce weird punishments for boys, “if you do this, I will make you sit among the girls” and the poor guy becomes a laughing stock for the entire class.
Result – Boys start considering girls as a humiliating factor for them, something which brings them shame
Within the peer group, guys are ridiculed when they lose to a girl in any form of rivalry. “Dude, you lost to a girl, shame on you!”
Result – Guys tend to believe that girls are the weaker section of the society and it is a disgrace to lose to them or even be compared to them. Their masculinity can only be proved based on the authority they show on women.
These kinds of restrictions backed by a shallow mindset instill a curiosity in boys from a tender age, to explore the opposite sex. The bra strap sneaking out, exposure of lower back from low waist jeans or the neckline flirting with her cleavage, thus becomes a matter of huge interest for them.
Corrective Measures
At home, where a child gets to learn the first chapter of his life, it is imperative to treat boys and girls as equal. If there’s a rule book or a yardstick, it should be the same for both.
Education was thought to be an antidote to discrimination against girls, alas that hasn’t worked either. Most of the perpetrators of crimes against girls have been found to be educated. Educated enough in the context of numbers, algebra, algorithms, chemical formulae, but in terms of humanity, a pathetic failure.
Let’s reform our education system, the roots of which shouldn’t just be A,B,C,D but treating each human being with humility, respect, and equality, irrespective of their gender.
Why sitting among girls in a classroom is considered to be a disgrace for a boy? Are those girls not normal human beings?
Why losing to a girl or being compared to her brings shivers down the spine of a guy? Don’t we swear by the thought during any competition, “may the best person win”. The writer of this quote never mentioned gender in here, did he? So what’s the harm of losing to a girl in any form of rivalry? If she is ahead of you, it is because she is better than you, as simple as that. Accept it, appreciate her, and improve yourself.
Women just need a basic acknowledgment of their rights and nothing else. The fact that it has not been given to them as a matter of right, but in the form of alms, is appalling. The society will continue to remain unsympathetic towards our women if we don’t embrace them.
It is imperative to understand that measures for equality cannot be cultivated overnight. It would need a herculean effort to drill them into the mindsets of our current and future generations.
Our national anthem says:
“Vindhya Himachal Yamuna Ganga Uchchhala-Jaladhi Taranga
Tava Subha Name Jage Tava Subha Aashish Mange
Gahe Tava Jaya Gatha”
The peaking mountain ranges of Himalayas, the celestial Ganga collectively rise, bounce and roar. Chanting your auspicious name, seeking your blessings, they are yearning to get their existence acknowledged. Please accept, with all your love and heart!
