How I broke my three year long relationship without hurting him

One fine morning, I felt I couldn’t carry the relationship with my boyfriend any further.

Initially, everything went well between us, but the day he engaged in a one-night-stand with his female colleague, I decided to breakup with a resolve not to retain the relationship anymore. I gave him many chances to correct his conduct but those went in vain. He deceived me lots of times in our 3 years of relationship.

His first mistake was the lie that he claimed to be a teetotaler, but in reality he was a careless drunkard. Then he told me he had no girlfriends except me, but later I discovered from his smartphone that he has other girlfriend too. Also, I was flabbergasted hearing from one of his close friends that he was a college drop-out, yet he pretended himself as a Degree holder when we met for the first time. Finally, when I discovered that he spent a night with some other girl, I decided to part ways.

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But breaking up is not that much simple. It’s not just an end of a relationship but two hearts as well. Whatsoever, I decided to bring an end to the relationship without hurting my ex. Of course, it’s difficult to remove the images of your 3-year old romantic relationship. Yet, I gained some courage by reading self help books, doing self meditations and engaging in charitable activities.

“It’s better to tread alone and stay single, than engaging in a relationship which is full of lies, deceit and unfaithfulness”.

The main reason for my breakup was my boyfriend’s disloyal behavior and lackadaisical attitude towards our relationship. I tried everything possible to save the relationship that I built with love, commitment and honesty. But my ex-boyfriend compelled me to sever it.

It’s simple to fall in love but difficult to carry the relationship forward. Sooner we often come to accept the reality that not every relationship lasts long only luckier ones do. But dealing with a breakup is truly a devastating one.

I am saying it from my personal life experience that psychological trauma relating to breakup is very upsetting and saddening. I loved my ex-boyfriend so much, but he hurt me so badly that I was left with broken heart. It was too difficult to come out of it. 

Essential Tips to Breakupnfronting The Relationship: Before you decide to part ways, take some time to ponder whether you really want to get separated or not? Is he really that much worse that you two can’t proceed further? Do you wish to end the romantic part only or the complete relationship altogether? I completely ended the relationship with my Ex. There can’t be a relationship sans trust.

• One-to-One Communication: No matter, whether your relationship has bloomed from a ‘yellow notification’ on facebook or professional email or just via random conversation at college, social media is just not too apt to bring your relationship to standstill. I personally feel you should directly spill the beans in front of him – explain it clearly that you two were never meant to be together – he did wrong to you. Let him realize his mistakes.

• Don’t Grudge: Break-up doesn’t give you a license to keep lambasting your ex-boyfriend. Countless arguments don’t matter when you already make up your mind to choose a different path. Leave him alone for the next few months without any chat, sms or telephonic discussion. I personally feel forget and forgive is the best way to move on in life and starting afresh.

• Hear His View Points Too:  Relationship is a complex matter. While you decide to move on in life give your ex-partner ample amount of time to explain his side as well. Simply listen to it. If you think his mistake is pardonable you can reconsider your decision. In my case, I tried my best to save the relationship giving him many chances but he was adamant to change his conduct. I was left with no other option than to breakup.

• No Physical Relationship Further: During our relationship, I am glad that I didn’t end up making physical relationship with a dishonest man. Sex is not everything in a relationship. It could be important for some people but first observe whether “this relationship” is going in the right direction or not and then indulge in the physical pleasure. Don’t rush for sex before strengthening the bond of your relationship.

What I Learnt From This Relationship

• Don’t rush to create a relationship. Bachelorhood is no curse.
• Give ample amount of time in your relationship.
• Sex can never be the basis of a relationship.
• No need to continue a relationship in the absence of love, honesty and trust.
• Begin a relationship when you are mature enough to handle the pressure of it.
• Your relationship can’t always stay pleasurable; it does go through roller-coaster sometime.
• You should not take your breakup too seriously that you end up catching depression, schizophrenia or high blood pressure.