Turning on the idiot box, the screen was flooded with advertisements. I couldn’t help but slowing down the pace of juggling between the channels. On one, an actor showed how flawlessly you can shave off the body hairs. On other, hair removal cream makes the skin silkier, ‘giving you the confidence to lift your arms publically’.
Wait, what? I didn’t know that if a girl is hairy then she needs to hide them. Why is it so? Who said that it is wrong? When did it become a norm that being hairless is acceptable? Is there some sort of rulebook prescribed by the society that we, girls need to follow?
Seems like in this rulebook only there are innumerable social commandments (apologies for using a religious term, but rules are actually like ‘commandments’ only).
Commandments for ladies, out there!
You should not touch pickle in ‘those’ days, else it will rot.
You should not enter into holy places or touch religious scriptures, again in ‘those’ days.
You should not talk about sexuality, at all (haww, how can a girl talk about it).
You should talk in feeble voice and your ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to the world.
You should not wear makeup (else that means you are alluring people), but you should be presentable (else people will go all clothing shaming, body shaming on you and yes, a behenji).
You should not mingle with boys(else people will think that you are ‘easy’, or even can go to the length of assuming you to be a slut), but you should not be otherwise as well (else you are a prude, conservative, a behenji).
You should be a virgin in order to get married or be ready for harsh repercussions, but if you are a virgin, then you are a prude.
Lastly and most importantly, you should be ‘submissive’, ‘adaptable’, ‘sacrifice yourself’ and ‘subsume to sayings (desires/urges or anything) of everyone’.
However, if you thought that only girls have to follow social commandments in this male-dominated society. Then I want to burst your bubble and make you aware of the fact that males are equally shackled. They are also bound by certain commandments.
Commandments for men, out there!
If they are not dominating and attempts to adjust, then they are not masculine enough.
If anger is not their second nature, then they are not masculine.
If tears are natural to them, then they are not masculine.
If a man wants to remove his body hair and pamper himself with spa, facial massages, then also his masculinity is questioned.
He doesn’t walk like a ruler or boast about himself, then are you sure he is ‘masculine’ enough. I doubt. This runs in the mind of onlookers.
If he ‘cannot wield his prowess over his wife’, then he is not
If he is not earning and taking care of home, while his spouse works, then he is not ‘masculine’ for sure.
If he cares to take permission of parents, then he is still a ‘mamma’s boy’ who can never be a man.
There is a long list, where to end all these social commandments!
But if you think that males are in a better position than just a reminder-they are sailing in another boat which is stuck in tornado-like yours. Their world might seem calm and peaceful, but like you, they are also deprived of many rights. Irrespective of gender, everyone is curbing their inner voices and need a vent out.
Nevertheless, it is only you, who can break this vicious cycle. It is only you, who can pacify this storm. How? Never tell your children that it is a girly thing, don’t cry like a girl or man up. Just set them free, don’t tell them what is good or bad, let them experience it and see the change. No, no… these are not some rules or commandments, but an effort to change the outlook of the world.